


it's us against the world (you and me against them all)

by callumsmitchells



Series: ballum week 2020 [7]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Pride, ballumweek2020, bw2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24715663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callumsmitchells/pseuds/callumsmitchells
Summary: Pride is a difficult time for people, sometimes. Not everyone has pride within themselves, and sometimes it takes meeting someone special to really feel pride.or, three prides that ben and callum have experienced: two that broke them, and one that made them feel nothing but joy
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: ballum week 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778716
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	it's us against the world (you and me against them all)

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @callumsmitchells

_ben_

Bright colours filled the streets, music booming from speakers, smiles on everyone’s faces as they got sucked in to the atmosphere of Pride. Ben, however, felt sick to his stomach. It was the first time he had experienced Pride, and it didn’t help the pang of guilt that he felt throughout his entire body. He wasn’t out yet, though he knew he was gay. In reality, he hadn’t even fully accepted it himself, constantly having to battle the internal homophobia he felt after years of his dad making homophobic comments to Ben, letting him know that he would never accept a gay son. 

He looked around him, watching as people danced together, bright smiles beaming across their faces, a multitude of flags wrapped around their shoulders, ones that Ben had no idea what they meant. He had never been exposed to anything like this before, it was a complete shock to him. Ben didn’t really know why he got on the tube to come here, but his legs moved before his brain had time to process it. Suddenly, a rainbow flag was placed into his hand, and Ben looked at it, confused.

“The parades starting!” A – rather attractive – man announced, no more than a couple years older than Ben himself. “First time?” 

Ben nodded, his brain aching already from the heat and the noise but also the inner turmoil that Ben found himself in. It had felt like an age since he last admitted that he found a man attractive, and it terrified him. Nevertheless, he followed the man into the parade, standing shoulder to shoulder with him, holding his little rainbow flag in his hand, waving it about half heartedly. 

It was much later on, when the sun had gone behind clouds and the brightness of the summers day had faded into a dusk, the warmth still evident, though a breeze made its way through London streets, when it happened. They had spent the whole day together, Ben learning about Pride, though his entire body ached with the acknowledgement that he probably wouldn’t even be able to come out – not if he didn’t want to be disowned. They had gone into a bar, following a crowd of people into the building with flashing lights and promises of the cheapest alcohol in the area, and three hours later they stumbled out together, cheeks flushed with the strength of booze that had been consumed in a short space of time. The streetlights flickered to life, flooding the streets in shades of orange and yellow and white, and suddenly Ben was pressed against a wall in an alleyway, lips attacking his own. It was nice, surprisingly. Ben’s heart fluttered as he felt stubble scratch across his face, and he thought it would be uncomfortable, but it really wasn’t. It just felt normal. He regretted how much time he had spent missing out on feeling this good, and then he heard a crowd of people rush past him just as he let out a soft moan, and pushed the man away from him, quickly running off without so much as looking back. 

When Ben made it home, and he cowered under his bedsheets with shaky hands and a hitch in his breath, he vowed that he would never attend Pride again.

_callum_

He knew it was coming up. Whitney had spent weeks designing shirts for it, and it seemed as though he couldn’t avoid Walford Pride, no matter how much he tried to. It was everywhere he went, posters stuck to notice boards, walls and windows. Even in his own home, a notice would be printed in the Walford Gazette, or he would be forced to wear Whitney’s design, modelling it for her. So when the morning arrived, and Callum was dragged into delivering boxes to the Prince Albert, he really wasn’t surprised. It terrified him, however. Callum had spent his entire life lying about who he really was, too scared to even look at a man for longer than normal for fear that someone would realise. But all those years were in vain, when Ben took one look at Callum and just _knew_.

Now he was at Pride, his first ever experience of it, and the whole idea of it, quite frankly, terrified him. Everywhere he looked, was people who had accepted their own sexuality, and truly wanted to celebrate the occasion, and he was lost. It broke him, really. Callum knew that he was gay, and that he was lying to himself, and everyone around him, but even the thought of admitting it to one other person sent a shiver of fear down his spine. It was only made worse by seeing Ben everywhere he turned, the one other person who knew he was gay. He looked so happy, and content, surrounded by the happiness of the occasion, and Callum longed to be like that, but he knew he couldn’t be.

The day just seemed to keep going from bad to worse, when he broke down to his brother and admitted that something had happened between him and Ben. It probably should have felt amazing to get that out, and take the weight of the world off of his shoulders, but it didn’t. Anxiety panged through him, because now Stuart knew. 

Stuart, who hated Ben. 

Emotions sky rocketed later on, when the drag act took to the stage, belting out a performance of Heather Small’s ‘Proud’, and Callum witnessed something special. Everyone around him sang and danced and cheered, the end of Pride edging ever closer, and it was momentous. Callum was whisked away with the sound of the crowd surrounding him, and tears started to stream down his face as he realised that he could never be like them. He could never be out and proud. His lips shook, overwhelmed in the beauty and heartbreak of the moment, and he silently vowed that he would avoid Pride like the plague in future, never wanting to feel this way again. 

_ben and callum_

Ben wrapped a rainbow flag around Callum’s shoulders, tying it in a loose knot underneath his chin. “You ready?” He asked, bright beaming smile spread across his face. 

Callum smiled softly, bringing his hands up to cradle Ben’s face. “As I’ll ever be.”

It had been a long year since the last Pride, and so much had happened. 

“I love you.” Callum said, running his thumbs over Ben’s cheeks, and quickly moved in for a kiss. He never wanted to stop kissing Ben. It just felt perfect, and normal, like it was all he was made for. Callum reckons he was. 

Ben smiles into the kiss, hands pressed tightly against Callum’s waist, pulling their bodies together. “I love you too.”

It’s soft, and gentle, and their hands are entwined, fingers resting against each others skin, taking in the moment around them. It was well and truly summer, the sky a vast shade of blue, highlighted with the sun that hung high, beaming down on the streams of glitter and rainbows and bright colours. 

This time, this pride, it was a happy occasion. They both wanted to be there. They were both out, and happy and in love. This time, they could hug and kiss and dance together until the sun went down, and nobody would say anything to them – because this was the place that it, they, were accepted. Music surrounded them, and Callum had his arms around Ben, the younger mans back pressed tightly to his chest. Their hands were interlocked, Callum’s arms dangling over Ben’s shoulders, resting at his chest. Callum pressed his lips to Ben’s neck, a grin spreading across his lips as Ben sunk into him, loving the touch. 

“If you don’t want to get me hard in public, I suggest you stop it.” Ben murmured, low enough so only Callum could hear him. 

Callum huffed out a laugh, lips still attached to his neck. “Tempting.” 

Ben laughed, and elbowed Callum in the ribs. “Later. Promise.” 

“Fine.” Callum rolled his eyes, but caught Ben’s lips between his own, before they both turned to face the parade. “Are you happy?” 

“Course I am.” Ben admitted. “Are you?”

Callum beamed, his eyes bright in the sun. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”


End file.
